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I'm Not Available and I'm Not Sorry

I wake up everyday at about 6:30-7 AM. I lie down until about 7:30 or until my second alarm goes off, whichever comes first. I usually start my day by drinking water and brushing my teeth. I go downstairs and do my morning chores and makes sure the house is clean. Then its on to the dishes. When I was growing up my mama always made me wash the dishes. I fucking hate dishest. Every apartment I have has to have a dishwasher or I don't want it. I rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher. Then I walk my dog and briefly argue with him about taking forever to use the bathroom. On a day I have class, if I have time I make breakfast, if not then I make sure to be ready so I can make it out on time to grab coffee and breakfast.

Everyday that I have class is different. I am on different organizations on campus. I am in charge of one. So a meeting here or dropping off paperwork here, a check in with my mentor there, is all possible. If I have on a new piece I made I shoot some looks for my social media. If I have time to grab lunch, I am usually rushing. After class I either have clients or homework. If I ran out of products the night before I have to stop at the beauty supply. I will usually cancel clients and go to the library if I'm swamped. If not I am in the shop, I definitely am not a person who is glued to their phone during the day unless I'm changing the songs playing in my AirPods. The whole day my phone rings and I hate it, but I am appreciative.

My friends and I are very social in college. There is always a function to attend or something to do with them. I don't attend them all because I don't usually have time. By the end of my day my coffee has worn off and I'm just ready to go home. I open the door and fight with myself to find energy to give the dog his final walk of the day. Then I come in, pour a glass of wine if I have it and I just sit in the silence. It is my time to just clear my mind. Sometimes it lasts half a glass of wine, or the whole bottle. The first day I worked with kids, I didn't even bother to reach for a glass. Then there is the issue of dinner. I have been cooking more because my food is amazing and ordering out costs way too much money. Fuck that tonight though, I ordered pizza because I just spent 7 hours standing on my feet. I couldn't even think about standing at the stove tonight for even one minute. So I didn't and that is OK. On a good night I have dinner by 10:30. I keep my phone on Do Not Disturb during the day because I get way to many notifications and I got shit to do. I don't have time to have my face in my phone. After dinner is either studying or home work. It's about 12 AM at that point. Add on the fact that I have been filming and editing for my YouTube channel the past few weeks, that turned my 12 AM to 2AM. I have never really slept much, so I can operate off a few hours all day... as long as I have 3 meals. Which doesn't always happen.

During busy weekends like homecoming and graduation, will literally be awake from Thursday to Saturday night. Sunday I barely leave the bed or open the curtains. Strange really I don't know how I do it but I get it done. Having to explain to people that I was busy is literally the most annoying thing in the world. Everybody does not live the same life. I also have businesses that require attention. Not all days are like this, but there are more than there are less. I have to factor in dealing with my own problems as part of my schedule. This for all those people who's messages I don't see on time, and calls I can't answer... I am not available and I am not sorry.

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